Once again, I have no idea where to begin with this prompt. I can't express my thoughts honestly and clearly because I don't have the faintest idea what they are. I know what I think about love as a force and a cause and a part of life, but defining it, looking at it for what it is rather than what it does, seems impossible to do adequately, especially since I have very little experience in the matter.
One thing I do know: love does not have to be romantic. This seems sort of obvious, but it's easy to forget given our society's vast overemphasis on romantic and sexual relationships. But just as asexual people can have romantic relationships, aromantic people can experience love. It's of the platonic variety, between friends or family members, but that can be just as powerful, if not as glorified, as romance.
That said, I think it's definitely possible to get married without romantic love. Love of some form--even friendly, vague affection, platonic love, or any variation thereupon--should always be present, I think, but romance doesn't have to factor into it if that's not what's right for you. Also, I don't think love has to be the only reason at all. Getting married to your best friend so you can get a tax break is a completely legitimate decision too, though decidedly less socially acceptable, because our society, in general, still believes in the limiting and unrealistic idea of a romantic, heterosexual, monogamous soulmate for every single person in the world.
I don't know what's true for me yet, as it largely depends on people I have yet to meet in situations I have yet to find myself in. But I know I believe that whatever makes you happy is completely valid, no matter what society says is correct. Not straight? That's cool. Non-romantic? That's cool too. Non-gender-binary? Sure, whatever. Non-sexual? Absolutely, go ahead. Heterosexual, cisgender, monogamous, and generally matching all society's standards? Awesome, have fun with that. One of the greatest things about living in a free society is that everyone's personal truth can be respected and pursued, and while America is not quite 'there' yet in terms of legal and social freedom of love, we're certainly working on it.
"One of the greatest things about living in a free society is that everyone's personal truth can be respected and pursued, and while America is not quite 'there' yet in terms of legal and social freedom of love, we're certainly working on it. "
ReplyDeleteThis is a really and true line (and a great way to end the piece!).
I really agree with everything you said. You have really good way of writing informal writing so that it feels like having a conversation.
It's a difficult topic to write about, regardless.
"All men and women are connected by an energy which many people call love, but which is, in fact, the raw material from which the universe was built. The energy cannot be manipulated, it leads us gently forward, it contains all we have to learn in this life. If we try to make it go in the direction we want, we end up frustrated, disillusioned, because that energy is free and wild." -Paulo Coelho.
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